Summary
Dear Santa: Yo ho ho, it's me again. Don't worry. I'm not writing this letter for myself. I know my mother has probably contacted you again and informed you of all the particularly naughty things I've written about her over the previous 12 months. And I know your crystal ball picks up the language my buddies and I use down at Shiloh. Since you can see me when I'm sleeping and know when I'm awake, it's safe to assume you also know that I'm still sneaking cigarettes out in the garage several times each week. I fully expect nothing more than a lump of coal in my stocking this year.
I'm writing this on behalf of my two daughters. They each sent you separate communications last week containing their gift requests. Their demands were outrageous. I know this because right after they scampered back from the mailbox, I snuck outside, opened up their letters and read them while I was smoking in the garage. After reviewing their lists, I thought about simply tossing the envelopes in the trash. I figured that would land me on your lump- of-coal list for another decade, though, and I'm going to need a new bedroom television set when they start doing all that crazy digital stuff here in a couple of years. Instead, I'm sending this letter as sort of an addendum and clarification to the ones my kids sent.See the full content of this document
Extract
Homeboy ; Hey Santa, How About an Hdtv?
Santa, I'd like to apologize for my girls' presumptuous and unflinching audacity. I know, for instance, that both of them requested cell ph...
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